Hurting other people I care about is just about the worst feeling I feel. Slow weakend heart beats coldly ambering low in my chest, short forced shallow breaths, my organs to disgusted with themselves to wanting to quit to function. Eye contact uncomfortable with any object, they just want to roll up into the back of my skull, but they cant because my mind will not allow any escape from the facts and disappointment. Everything is painfully acute the world the yellow merge sign on the highway, base ball field light post. You don�t get angry, you get disappointed and saddened and that just kills me the most.